I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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