im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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