I should be sponsored by Trojan
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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