I can text with my tongue
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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