In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
