I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
