capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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