porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
