this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
