butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
