I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
