Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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