Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
