His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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