She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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