READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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