If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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