Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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