i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
