she was so not down for the gang bang
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
