and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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