how can u be prego again
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
