well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
