God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
