im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
