Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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