so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
