Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
