also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
