Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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