He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
