I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
