its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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