I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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