the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
