We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
