I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
