i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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