fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
