would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
