the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
