Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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