tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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