i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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