Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had sex on a roof
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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