So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
