It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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