dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The struggles of a small town man whore
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
