Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
