Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
