I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
