If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
