i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Are my feet made of real feet?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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